Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Clutch - BLAST TYRANT: Best record of the year


Clutch

This has got to be the best record of year, maybe the best in 5 years. I'm so tired of the bubblegum-pop-punk shit that they’re playing on the radio. None of that here. Thank God. Just great hard rock&roll songs, one after another. There are a few mellow\slower songs on the record, but they're placed well on the album and mix things up a bit. I can’t say that there’s a bad song on this record...and they actually play Guitar solos. Go buy it.


Monday, October 25, 2004

First message our new Spam filter caught

my say? Backstreet Boys Golf Clubs Illinois man

Saturday, October 23, 2004

I'm keeping your poop!!!

So Bill T was telling me all about his trip to Boston. One of the many things he did there was see an Australian Pink Floyd cover band called Luther Write and the Wrongs. He said that these guys were very close to the real deal. Sounded just a lot like Floyd.. So anyway, he mentioned that they were playing this country band on the PA before they took the stage called Hayseed Dixie. They play country covers of old AC\DC songs. He said that it was hysterical. The thing that’s so weird about this is that Tracy and I were driving home from McDonalds with the kids later that night, and she says that she got a new CD from someone at work, she pops it in and it’s Hayseed Dixie!!! I find that extremely strange. This is, in my opinion, an obscure band. The chances were very slim that Tracy and I would hear of them with in a couple of days of each other. Fuckin weird. Go to http://www.hayseed-dixie.com to check them out. I guess they do originals too, they have a song called “I’m keeping your poop” in the Tasting Room section. pretty funny stuff...and they’re pretty talented too.

Critics agree!
Here’s are some record reviews that I found:

Genius. Pure Genius. Anyone willing to record a song titled "I'm Keeping Your Poop" and keep it going for four minutes is a fucking musical genius.
-Billy Bob

One listen, and you'll be singing "I'm Keeping Your Poop" to your loved ones over and over and over
-Catfish

Friday, October 22, 2004

Beware!!!

I woke up the other morning with fresh scratches on my face. It’s possible that I could have inflicted them on myself, you know, during some weird sex dream or something. Maybe the cat scratched me, or I could have turned into a werewolf last night. Who knows? So anyway, this morning I awoke with Tracy’s elbow in my throat, and fingernails on my face. Luckily I was able to fight her off me before she was able to do any damage. She was screaming “I SWEAR BY GOD I’LL KILL YOU… I just made that last part up. She would never says something like that to me, at least I dont think she would. So, I'm thinking that’s where the scratches came from.


Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Amazing discovery

Today at work we were eating one frosted Maple and Brown Sugar Mini Wheat and a few peanuts all at once. It’s absolutely fucking delicious.

Speaking of Peanuts, the other day I was telling Chris that Rednecks put salted peanuts in a bottle of Coke and drink it. Naturally, he didn’t believe me because I’m always full of shit. I found an article on some recipe site talking about it, so he trusted I was telling the truth. I hadn’t done this in years, but remember liking it. So we tried it with a Diet Coke in a can. Very bad idea folks!! DO NOT DO THIS… I’m thinking that it needs to be done with a bottle of Coke, not a can. We were pretty much chocking on fucking peanuts with each sip. Pretty funny though, because we kept drinking anyway.

Todays Lunch

Tracy, Bill, Michelle, some other guy, and I went to Longhorn Steakhouse for lunch today. It was pretty good I guess. Bill and Michelle had some problems with the steaks they ordered. Bill's was over cooked and under seasoned. JESUS CHRIST, WHAT KIND OF A PLACE MAKES YOU SEASONING YOUR OWN STEAK!!! I'm sorry but, table salt and pepper do not take the place of Prairie dust. I actually got a free steak there one time because of that. Service was shitty. The waitress didn't really seem to care at all. Cant wait to go back though. I have to fill my lucky lunch card up so I can get my free lunch.

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR PROSTITUTE IS AN EXTRATERRESTRIAL

Got nothing else to post, so here ya go, some very important info. As you can see from the article, this info is from 'government experts' I got this off the Weekly World News so I know it's got to be true:

Here, from government experts, are 10 warning signs that the prostitute you've picked up is a sinister space babe:

1. Looks too good to be true -- If that curvy cutie working the street corner is a dead ringer for Catherine Zeta-Jones, odds are the gorgeous star isn't moonlighting. A shape-shifting ET has probably adopted the form of your dream girl.

2. Out-of-date lingo -- Alien prostitutes try to fit in by using streetwalker slang -- but often use outdated terms. A hooker who sees a police car and whispers, "Cheese it, the fuzz!" likely hails from deep space.

3. Evasive about identity and origins -- Few gals in "the life" are forthcoming about their full
names. But a scarlet woman who refuses even to divulge where she comes from -- vaguely describing her birthplace as "the Midwest" or "overseas" -- could be an ET.

4. Odd, hard-to-place accent. "They have trouble pronouncing the letter 'R,' " Manling reveals.

5. Unusually petite -- The average alien hooker stands roughly 5 feet tall, but may attempt to disguise her size with ridiculously high heels.

6. Sex was "unbelievable." If the encounter was "everything you've always fantasized about," chances are the memory was implanted by ETs.

7. Missing time -- If you paid for an hour with a hooker, but your watch indicates four hours have gone by, this suggests part of your memory of the encounter has been erased.

8. Seems telepathic -- A fallen woman who finishes your sentences or slips up and mentions your real name when you've given her a bogus one, is probably invading your thoughts -- and our planet.

9. Over-perfumed -- Hookers from outer space often try to mask their peculiar ET body odor.

10. Squeamish about spanking -- Terrestrial prostitutes are willing to perform virtually every sexual act if the money is right. But ETs don't like having their butts touched.

Monday, October 18, 2004

Take a walk around the world – and drink

I can’t believe that I’m moving out of Sanford. There are so many benefits to living here. For instance Flea World, the world’s largest indoor – outdoor flea market, or so they say. I think every state has the worlds largest flea market. Flea World is now claiming to have outdoor air-conditioning. What they actually did was put up a misting type of sprinkler at the base of each fan, so it’s like you’re walking around in a rain forest. Kind of funny. I know you’re probably asking yourself, wont the moister ruin the merchandise. The answer is no. The only things they sell there are sunglasses, t-shirts, and mailboxes with your favorite NFL team logo on it. All hold up well in this damp environment. Oh, and Beer. So, Dave, Tera, and I walked around the world and drank Beer. Tera didn’t, she’s got about 11 years to go before she can legally drink beer in most places, 3 if you’re in flea world. We actually found a place that was selling Bud cans for $1.60, we had someone ask us “did yall bring your own beer in” Most places sell draft. We pointed him to the concession stand where we bought them, not sure if he was able to find it or not. Dave ran into an interesting problem after purchasing a rain stick. You can’t drink beer, eat a hot dog, and hold a rain stick. Impossible!! SO, he did without the hot dog. Caught a buzz, had fun.

Friday, October 15, 2004

Band practice is sponsored by Busch Beer


Busch

Hung around with Bryan and Eric last night like I do every Thursday night. Band practice has turned into beer practice. Dave was there for a bit, but had to leave early for some reason. We haven’t had a place to practice in over two years, so it’s been replaced with sitting around drinking beer talking about shit like bands, movies, fishing... Our beer of choice is Busch beer, sometimes miller lite, but mostly Busch. Speaking of Busch, Shinedown, a local band gone national, did a horrible cover of Simple Man by Lynyrd Skynyrd. Now when ever I hear that song, I think of that shit band Shinedown instead of the wonderful vision of girls jumping into waterfalls that Busch beer painted for me in their commercials. Anyway, Bryan bought a newer house (very nice) so we have a new garage to drink in. And there is a great place on the side of the house to take a leak: no lights, no neighbors taking out the trash to walk up on you, very private piss area. I’m sure he considered this before buying the place :) We are talking about getting a warehouse again, and writting some new tunes. That would be awsome.

CD cover


Melvins Posted by Hello

Thursday, October 14, 2004

MELVINS with Jello Biafra

I just heard that the Melvins have recorded a new record with Jello Biafra. Cant wait to hear it! The Melvins have got to be the coolest and most interesting bands around. They've been together for 20 years. That says a lot. Go to http://www.themelvins.net/ to hear a sample and interview. I hope they do a tour with him. The Melivns are one of the best bands that I've seen live. They put on a great show, and usually play in small venues which makes it that much better. Go see them if you get a chance.

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Magic are losing again - not over yet!!

They tried to improve the team by getting rid of T-Mac, and getting 3 Rockets in his place, but so far they've lost the first pre season game, and it doesn't look good for the second. I feel things cant be any worse than last season. Too early to tell. This team is deeper and should score more evenly than last year (T-Mac - 50 rest of team 40) Don't understand why they don’t televise these pre-season games. Sunshine network is playing something like synchronized horse swimming right now. GO figure. I think more people would be watching the basketball game. Have to listen to it on NBA.com instead because I don’t have a good radio in the house. The game is on wdbo, if you go to their site they want 3 $ a month to listen to their crap on the web, so I go to NBA.com, click on listen to game, and get wdbo radio, kind of funny. Anyway, as far as the Magic go, I'm still optimistic. If Hill stays healthy, we can go far into the post season.